end of year reflections
Dec. 23rd, 2019 11:15 pmThings are looking up, here. My MIL is recovering well from her injury and I've put together a solid plan for going forward. Our various household challenges have started easing (thank god). The house project is at a very satisfying point (I have a functional back porch!!!).
I am so damn proud of myself for all the work I've done over these last months, managing so many different situations, keeping everything afloat. I'm grateful for all the coping skills and management skills I've learned at the schools and in my own life, so that I was ready to put them to use to support the people in my life. I feel like I'm walking in the steps of my ancestors. Grandma and Grandpa would be proud of me.
In many ways I have no idea what's ahead. I had a plan for this year that involved getting kiddo solidly settled into college and then focusing on preparing for my next career steps and cultivating more post-homeschooling community. Little to none of that happened. Life just needed me elsewhere. I have no idea how we would have gotten through the last couple months if I were working. But I am not cut out to be a fulltime homemaker when I'm not also homeschooling or doing some other work that feels creative/meaningful to me.
What do I want? I want to start taking classes again. I do want to start working -- maybe doing some personal assistant stuff because it's flexible and lowkey and satisfying, maybe tutoring and teaching workshops again because that stuff feeds my soul. I want to be making more music, to be having more adventures, to be getting back to using my body in more adventurous ways (kayaking, rock climbing, fighting with sticks). Getting the household set up even more solidly and satisfyingly. I want to make a difference in the world -- maybe through my job, maybe through getting back to volunteering. I want to get back to various community activities that have fallen through the cracks recently.
I've been using habitica to build and sustain my good habits, and to join challenges and have a place to check in -- the 52 week Organized Home, 5x5 stronglifts, book-a-week, financial management. I'm going to tweak those challenges a bit, this week, as I think about which habits I still need support with, and which ones are either solidly established or just aren't for me.
I don't know what to do about this site. When I came back I was hopeful that it would slowly grow, maybe get a dozen folks here I knew, but that hasn't happened. I'm going to give it a little longer before I make a decision, and in the meantime I'll stick with my gentle intention to get here once a week or so.
I am so damn proud of myself for all the work I've done over these last months, managing so many different situations, keeping everything afloat. I'm grateful for all the coping skills and management skills I've learned at the schools and in my own life, so that I was ready to put them to use to support the people in my life. I feel like I'm walking in the steps of my ancestors. Grandma and Grandpa would be proud of me.
In many ways I have no idea what's ahead. I had a plan for this year that involved getting kiddo solidly settled into college and then focusing on preparing for my next career steps and cultivating more post-homeschooling community. Little to none of that happened. Life just needed me elsewhere. I have no idea how we would have gotten through the last couple months if I were working. But I am not cut out to be a fulltime homemaker when I'm not also homeschooling or doing some other work that feels creative/meaningful to me.
What do I want? I want to start taking classes again. I do want to start working -- maybe doing some personal assistant stuff because it's flexible and lowkey and satisfying, maybe tutoring and teaching workshops again because that stuff feeds my soul. I want to be making more music, to be having more adventures, to be getting back to using my body in more adventurous ways (kayaking, rock climbing, fighting with sticks). Getting the household set up even more solidly and satisfyingly. I want to make a difference in the world -- maybe through my job, maybe through getting back to volunteering. I want to get back to various community activities that have fallen through the cracks recently.
I've been using habitica to build and sustain my good habits, and to join challenges and have a place to check in -- the 52 week Organized Home, 5x5 stronglifts, book-a-week, financial management. I'm going to tweak those challenges a bit, this week, as I think about which habits I still need support with, and which ones are either solidly established or just aren't for me.
I don't know what to do about this site. When I came back I was hopeful that it would slowly grow, maybe get a dozen folks here I knew, but that hasn't happened. I'm going to give it a little longer before I make a decision, and in the meantime I'll stick with my gentle intention to get here once a week or so.